Harry and Barry: the Noisy Neighbours

After so much hype, expectation and even leaks on Wednesday night suggesting that it was a done deal, it just wasn’t to be. As always seems to be the case with West Ham, just as we thought we were on the verge of something like success, we were denied at the eleventh ... eh? What – we actually got it? So, we’re leaving the anachronism that is Upton Park to move to one of the best stadiums in the country, with infinitely better transport links for fans based in London, Essex and Kent? Well then, as Carlton Cole might say, shouldn’t we be feeling overchuffed?

The majority of fans clearly are but there remains that nagging and legitimate concern over the running track. In the worst case scenario that the Davids break the habit of a lifetime and become as good as their word, then keeping the track may well prove a price worth paying for what is a unique chance for a London-based club to find somewhere just up the road to relocate.

This blog has already made clear its feelings as to what a great opportunity this is, and now is not the time to rehash the pros and cons of the move. No, now is the time to laugh at Tottenham.

Let’s not kid ourselves, most Spurs fans didn’t want to move to Stratford. This is not a victory as such, but for Daniel Levy to have pushed so hard for it, he must really fear the financial repercussions. Spurs fans are now left in limbo as they ponder where they will be relocated to. I’ve heard there’s a stadium-size plot of land in E13 up for grabs from 2014. How about that, Harry? You seemed quite keen to relocate Spurs closer to the Bow Bells and there’s definitely no running track.

Equally irritating over the last few weeks has been the squealing of Barry Hearn. Initially, it was natural to feel some sympathy but the more one reads of his whining, the clearer it is that he is simply trying to gain leverage for a move to a 15,000-seat hockey stadium. That makes sense. His objections to West Ham relocating to Stratford do not.

For the 1,214th time Hearn has compared us to Tesco; the evil corporation putting the local corner shop out of business. The analogy has been so overused that I’m actually starting to quite like it. Tesco really flatters us, but I feel Budgen’s might be closer to the truth. Or Costcutters.

“West Ham have made it clear that they won’t have the support to fill the stadium without heavily discounted tickets and that would not just take away the fleeting football fans of Leyton Orient but it would also take away youngsters that might become Leyton Orient fans in the future,” ranted Hearn in the Evening Standard.

In other words, West Ham should stay in a stadium that is not fit for purpose, charging extortionate prices, by way of a miniscule contribution to stemming the flow of bored Orient fans. As someone who pays over £700 a year for a season ticket, I do not take any solace in the notion that I am somehow subsidising our plucky little neighbours.

Hopefully, Hearn is right and the Davids will slash prices in order to fill the stadium. This may be slightly crude, but cutting average tickets prices from £45 to £25 would quite likely push average gates up from 35,000 to 55,000, especially with the more practical transport links and the draw of a shiny a new ground. People joke about the idea of West Ham filling a 60,000-seater stadium but the reality is that there are tens of thousands of West Ham fans within an hour’s reach of Stratford who haven’t been to a game for years because they cannot justify the cost. This is the perfect opportunity to end that alienation.

The alternative - and this is what I fear - is to give adults a minimal discount and focus on getting kids in for next to nothing. Not only would this be a kick in the teeth for fans who have ploughed thousands of pounds into the club over the years, filling the ground with kids would simply exacerbate what is already likely to be a muted atmosphere.

I fear this because even now many games are ‘Kids for a Quid’. This price differentiation is bizarre and unjust, and the atmosphere at the recent Birmingham game, where parts of the ground seemed like a crèche, is testament to the problems this causes.

There is no rhyme or reason to this policy. Actually, it does rhyme. And that’s the best that can be said of it.

Somewhere beyond the Over Land and Sea

It has been announced that Hammers fanzine Over Land and Sea will close after more than 20 years. The publication has survived against the backdrop of rival fanzines, such as Home Alone and Water In Majorca, falling by the wayside.

There will be a degree of sentimentality (this is West Ham after all) over the closure of OLAS, but anyone who has read a recent copy will shed few tears. The fanzine is little more than a series of uncoordinated, poorly-written rants. A recent edition contained numerous anti-Olympic Stadium pieces, each making the same point as the other, and whose sentiment is symbolic of a fanzine stuck in the past.

That said, Gary Firmager deserves credit for offering a platform for fans to make their voice heard, particularly in an era where many feel so disenfranchised. That has been made obsolete by the existence of myriad online messageboards where fans can talk nonsense to their heart’s content. Nevertheless, it is sad that well-meaning publications like OLAS can no longer exist in a world where any idiot can set up their own blog and within minutes start spouting their self-righteous drivel ... Eh? Oh.