An evening with Sam and Dave

I suspect I was not the only West Ham fan to leave the fans forum earlier this month trying hard to recall what I had expected from the evening. An hour of quizzing Sam Allardyce had felt rather flat and fruitless. Reflecting on it a couple of weeks later I wonder whether we actually learnt more than I first thought.

The first lesson to be learnt was that the comments that get posted on Twitter and online forums are not representative of those of the hardcore. 400 fans attended this event, and while many had difficult questions to ask Big Sam, there was none of the antagonism and spite which social media would have you believe is representative of West Ham fans’ attitude to the manager.

I headed to Upton Park that night a big fan of Allardyce, suspecting that I might be a lone voice of support. I was wrong. So when my turn came to ask a question, I deviated from the one I had submitted to the club via email and instead tried to be a little provocative.

My question went something like this:

“It worries me to hear you say you spent the summer chasing Lukaku. He’s too good for West Ham. Couldn’t we have targeted more realistic signings? Isn’t it the job of our scouts to pick up talented players from foreign leagues the way Newcastle and Swansea do? Instead we’re left with Maiga.”

Next lesson learnt: when in a room full of West Ham fans do not suggest that a player – any player – is too good for West Ham. If looks could kill, I’d have been hung from the Bobby Moore statue on Barking Road.

Anyway, I’d handed Sam an easy win. He duly argued that Lukaku was not too good for a club of West Ham’s tradition, blah, blah, blah. But the question did at least prompt a lengthy answer in which he talked of the difficulty of signing a striker and how even players like Christian Benteke and Papa Cisse, once lauded as bargains, can hit a barren run.

Allardyce is quite the politician and is very adept at killing a question. He looks down at the table, talks in that monotone and after a minute you realise he hasn’t really said anything at all. Lots of excuses were made for a poor start to the season – Andy Carroll’s injury being the obvious one – but few new insights were offered.

No-one was expecting a man so full of self confidence as Sam to sit there and reel off a list of his personal failings, but there was a certain dismissiveness and arrogance to some of his answers, which felt contrary to the spirit of the evening.

One fan asked two questions both of which were greeted with the response of “I’ve already answered that”. This wasn’t strictly true and the fan was left feeling foolish for having posed perfectly reasonable questions.

Another reasonable question was why Matt Jarvis, a once-record £11m signing, was being left on the bench. Sam’s response was to point out that he hadn’t cost £11m (it was £10.5m). Far from making the supporter look silly, it left Allardyce appearing pedantic and defensive.

I remain a big supporter of Sam for what he has done with the mess he inherited, but I felt that I had finally answered the question I posed in a blog from May 2011 when he was first appointed manager:

“Whether we learn to love him and he love us remains to be seen.”

I feel it’s safe to say that’s not going to happen.

It turned out Allardyce and Kevin Nolan were just the warm-up act (I forgot to mention that Nolan was there. He didn’t get asked many questions but he did say his new year’s resolution was to score more goals, which seems to me like a good one).

I have had the pleasure of meeting David Gold before, so I already knew what a lovely man he is. An hour spent in his company was a joy.

Bizarrely, he started by effectively listing decisions made by the manager that he disagreed with: Diame playing wide, putting “all our eggs in one basket” by signing Andy Carroll, failing to give Ravel Morrison the chance to play in a more attacking position.

Eventually, one fan replied: “It seems like everyone can see it except Sam.”

Gold didn’t blink: “So are you gonna manage the team, then? Am I gonna manage the team? Should all of us here manage the team?”

His point was clear: I’m a supporter and as a supporter I will happily sit here and tell you those things I disagree with. But that’s very different to actually being able to manage the team myself. The person who knows how to manage the football team is the man in charge.

How lucky we are to have a chairman who will talk so openly and honestly with the fans. Contrast that with the situation at Cardiff where the owner has changed the team’s colours and is on a mission to get rid of a manager the fans love. Or at Hull where the owner’s response to fans resisting a proposal to change the team’s name to Hull Tigers is to say he’s happy for them all to die.

Gold answered every question as thoroughly as he could, and when he couldn’t he made sure there was someone on hand to answer it for him. He spoke with the enthusiasm of a supporter and the knowledge of an experienced football club owner. Many people argue the way forward for football clubs is fan ownership. At West Ham that’s already the case.

So what did I learn? I learnt that David Gold once caught his wife and his best mate having sex in a swimming pool.

I also learnt that I rather like our owners. My only fear is that they might one day sell up to another Carson Yeung. Should that happen, we might just look back on these times and realise how lucky we were.

Tottenham Hotspur, it's happened again

As much as I would love to write a blog about the pleasure of winning at White Hart Lane it has only been a few weeks since the last one, so forgive me if instead I simply share some photos and videos from Wednesday night's Capital One Cup quarter final with you.

This first one gives a glimpse of the atmosphere before the game. This tension was completely lacking from the league match a few weeks ago. On Wednesday night the police had their work cut out trying to keep rival fans apart outside the ground. You won't be surprised to hear that during the more tense moments I kept my phone in my pocket.

Anyway, on to the good stuff. I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with my fellow West Ham fans, but on Wednesday the support they gave the players was immense.

One of our fans' best traits is the ability to make up new songs at the drop of a hat. You've just turned the game round in the space of five minutes, can you think of a song to mark the occasion? Er, yeah we've got about twenty. Mr Maiga will feature prominently.

To the tune of the Rigoletto's 'La Dona e Mobile' (the Paolo Di Canio song to you and me):

"You let Maiga score, you let Maiga score, you let Maiga score ... "

To the tune of 'One-nil to the cockney boys':

"2-1 and Maiga scored, 2-1 and Maiga scored ... "

The whooaaa song:

"He scored at White Hart Lane, he'll never score again, Maiga, whooaaa ... "

"He scored at White Hart Lane, he's better than Jermaine, Maiga, whooaaa ... "

To the tune of 'Sloop John B':

"There's always next year, there's always next year, Tottenham Hotspur, there's always next year ... "

"You lost to our subs, you lost to our subs, how shit must you be, you lost to our subs ... "

"It's happened again, it's happened again, Tottenham Hotspur, it's happened again ... " 

Not every song is original of course.

The beauty of this game compared to the last one was that the Tottenham fans were all still there at the final whistle to witness our triumph. They left pretty sharpishly though.

It's so easy at the Lane.

You're still the one for me, Fat Sam

At this point in Avram Grant’s solitary season in charge, Karren Brady responded to rumours about the manager’s job security by claiming that knee-jerk decisions were for weak people. The truth is sacking Grant at that stage would have been neither weak nor knee-jerk (hence the board’s attempt to replace him weeks later). It would have been the swift correction of a bad appointment.

Following just two wins from the opening 12 matches, we find ourselves fourth from bottom. This is the worst spell in the two and a half years since Avram left, which is testament to Allardyce’s record to date: promotion in season one and a mid-table finish in season two.

The points tally may be similar (nine points under Avram at this stage compared to ten this season) but there is one very big difference. Whereas Grant had no proven track record to reassure us of his competence, the opposite is true of Allardyce.

Everyone – Big Sam included – knows what the problem is: Andy Carroll is injured and no back-up striker was acquired during the summer. He’s not going to admit it but, in short, he’s fucked up. Big time. But if the cause of our malaise is clear, then so is the solution: get through the next few weeks as best we can then watch Carroll (and Winston Reid) make all the difference. Oh, and sign another striker in January.

If (a big If) we assume Carroll puts his hairband back on and starts playing again at the end of the year, then in his absence we need to somehow scrape together a couple of wins and a couple of draws to keep ourselves in the mix. Regardless of the opposition it’ll be tough, but in the shape of Fulham, Crystal Palace and Sunderland there’s hope.

The big question is how we go about accumulating those points when we’ve struggled so much recently. That struggle is largely due to the necessity of playing without a striker following the realisation that Modibo Maiga is as likely to score as Jussi Jääskeläinen is to smile. Mladen Petric has been injured and Carlton Cole lacking match fitness. Carlton should be ready to come back any game now which means we can return to a system which worked pretty effectively at the start of the season (after five games we were 11^th).

It would be foolish to underestimate the impact of Winston Reid’s injury. I do not believe we would have conceded six goals in the last two matches with him at the heart of defence. Put Carroll and Reid back in the team for the second half of the season and we will avoid relegation like Maiga avoids a tackle.

Some fans will tell me I’m wrong, that Allardyce is getting a million different things wrong: Jääskeläinen should be dropped; Joey O’Brien can’t play on the left; we should play some youngsters; Diame needs to start. I wouldn’t necessarily disagree with any of that, but I think it’s just detail. Carroll and Reid will make the difference.

Fans are often accused of being fickle but sometimes they are surprisingly consistent. Just as I refuse to believe that Allardyce – whose appointment I suggested a year before it happened – has lost his way, others who have never taken to him and never will see this dip in form as a welcome opportunity to stick the knife in.

One blogger actually wrote this week that he hopes we lose our next two matches in the hope Allardyce gets the boot. Not so much West Ham Till I Die as West Ham Till I Don’t Like The Manager. The rationale that West Ham’s current poor form is a sacking offence would have seen pretty much every manager since John Lyall leave prematurely. 

Allardyce deserves the benefit of the doubt – and not just out of blind loyalty. Look at the last few Premier League seasons and you will see that the teams who have been relegated broadly fall into two groups: teams who have just been promoted (QPR, Reading, Blackpool, etc) and teams whose manager joined at the start or part way through the season. There are certainly exceptions (just ask Roberto Martinez) but it’s rare that a team that finished mid-table one season are relegated the next.

As West Ham fans who endured the 2002/03 season know, Sam Allardyce can navigate his way through a relegation fight. He’s no Avram Grant. Now he has to show it. 

Kneel down if you love West Ham

The sale of £5 tickets for the Manchester City match was the focus of much attention but depressingly one particular issue got more attention than most.

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Like many football clubs, West Ham’s fanbase is not reflective of the local area’s inhabitants. Last weekend the club made an attempt to engage with the locals by offering subsidised tickets.  A laudable initiative you might think. The reaction amongst many fans suggests otherwise.

Tickets were sold to various organisations including Barking Enterprise Centre, Active Newham, the England Handball Association and London County FA UEL Sports Dock (yeah, me neither). Many fans took objection to people who may not be that interested in football, let alone West Ham, being given £5 tickets when loyal supporters fork out as much as £50 per game.

This is a legitimate concern, but one that needs to be put into context. This is the first time this particular initiative has been used. "Kids for a quid" takes place several times a season and dates back years. The subsidies for Saturday's game pale into insignificance compared to that scheme.

Both systems have exactly the same objective: to engage people who might not otherwise go to games, with the intention of keeping them as lifetime supporters. So why has this new initiative come in for so much criticism whereas the other is almost unanimously accepted?

The answer to that is quite easily gleaned from a cursory look at West Ham forums and blogs where the use of the phrase "political correctness" is used enough to make even a Daily Mail reader weary. In short, some fans object to the presence of Muslims at the Boleyn Ground. This issue came to the fore when a group of Muslims apparently took time out during the Manchester City match to pray. It could be that they were praying for a West Ham win but more likely is that they were practising their religion.

One fan seemed especially confused by this: "I have read reports that the half time break saw sections of the stadium kneeling and praying." This poor fella seems to have an image in his head of the Chicken Run falling to its knees in unison.

"Surely this is a breach of health and safety regulations (or whatever they call it)," he continued, rather giving away that he's not actually that concerned about health and safety after all.

Bizarrely, one angry blogger took exception to the club’s use of the term "community spirit".

"How can you criticise something which is ‘community spirit’ influenced? To do so would surely be churlish at best, xenophobic or racist at worst." Presumably he was hoping the scheme would be called "Cheap tickets for Muslims" thereby fully validating his outrage.

My favourite trait of these "racists" is their use of "inverted commas": "The main problem is the club are trying to "integrate" this new support as they see it," commented one. I can’t even understand what he’s saying, let alone argue with him.

Some people protested that the club needed to better communicate what was happening. Indeed. Perhaps Jack Sullivan could have tweeted something along the lines of: "You know them Muslims you see on Green Street, well some of 'em are gonna be inside the ground for the City game, is that cool?"

In the interest of balance I should emphasise at this point that I am not "whiter than white" on this subject (inverted commas denote this is not a racist comment). I am easily irritated and pretty intolerant of others. If I had to walk around some dude praying on the floor while I’m trying to get a Yorkie and a coffee, my instinctive reaction is going to be one of annoyance.

But you know what? It’s not that big a deal. It would just be one of many irritations I experience on matchdays: people jumping the queue at Upton Park station; people using the toilet cubicles to smoke; the bloke behind me making xenophobic comments about the opposition players. Hell is other people, whatever the people. The fella praying to a fictitious God (I told you I was intolerant) annoys me no more than any other member of the general public. If he enjoyed the game and wants to come back, then good on him.

There are some legitimate concerns about what happened last weekend, including the location of the £5 seats. But the disproportionate amount of talk about praying on the concourse betrays the underlying prejudice behind many fans’ concerns.

"Only found out about everything in the concourse coming out the ground. Seriously bad darts. Everything I don't want us to become," said one person on the KUMB forum. I give him credit for being more honest than those who simply bemoan political correctness. But I would ask that he thinks twice the next time he chants "east, east, east London". That song probably isn’t for him.

This is how it feels to beat Tottenham

The contrast between my expectations of this match and the outcome makes this one of my greatest all-time West Ham matches

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West Ham fans ahead of the match, trying to muster up some optimism

Do you remember where you were when West Ham won 3-0 away at Spurs? I do. I was in the upper south-west corner of White Hart Lane, struggling to absorb a feeling brought about by the most unlikely of victories. It is a pleasure to retell my experience of this day.

We will be talking about this for decades to come. And with good reason. Not only is victory at White Hart Lane a once-in-a-decade occurrence, a 3-0 victory is, at best, once-in-a-generation stuff. And don’t let your Tottenham-supporting mate patronise you with comments about it being our “cup final”. It was 1962 when Spurs last won by as great a margin at Upton Park. Smashing your local rivals in their own back yard is the high point of any fan’s football experience, whatever the team, whatever the league, whatever the country.

The context of the match made victory all the sweeter. Tottenham had spent over £100m during the summer. West Ham had spent around £20m on two players: one an existing player who was injured, the other Stewart Downing. Tottenham had conceded just two goals in their opening 11 competitive games of the season. West Ham had gone four away games without scoring.

I was very conscious of these stats as I made my way to Liverpool Street station to meet Steve, my brother. Steve is always the optimist. Quite an achievement for someone who has supported West Ham for the best part of 40 years. Surely he would provide some grounds for optimism, however small.

“A 0-0 draw would be a good result today,” I suggested. “Yeah if we’re lucky,” he replied. “You know on paper they should probably beat us 6-0?” I said, hoping to be contradicted. “Yeah I know”, came the defeated response.

Even Spurs fans on the train seemed oddly subdued, as if taking a few hours out of their day to watch the inevitable steamrolling of West Ham was an inconvenience.

Dazed and confused

Given the supposed predictability of the result, the build up to the game was dominated by police threats aimed at Spurs fans intending to sing “Yid Army”, and David Gold’s plea for the moronic section of West Ham’s following to refrain from singing about issues they don’t really understand. These events proved a footnote to the action on the pitch, which is how it should be. A chant of “30,000 muppets” was as close to the bone as the Hammers contingent got. Jim Henson might have objected to the derogatory referencing of his creation, but otherwise this was deemed acceptable. So let’s move on.

As kick off approached, Steve and I debated the merits or otherwise of Sam Allardyce’s starting eleven. The most significant decision was Modibo Maiga being dropped for Ricardo Vaz Te. No-one could argue with Maiga missing his first league match of the season. One of the things that Sunday reinforced is that he excels as an unused substitute. But Vaz Te as a lone centre forward? Steve’s optimism was starting to return. My view remained that the Portuguese is a Championship player, unlikely to trouble Matt Dawson and Jan Vertonghen. Big Sam had other ideas.

It took a few minutes of the match for it to sink in. Vaz Te kept sticking to the left flank. I know it’s not your usual position, I thought, but just get yourself into the centre. But the other players keep looking for you on the left? So you’re meant to be playing out there. So who’s playing up front? No-one? We’re playing 4-6-0?

Yes, we’re playing 4-6-0.

My initial reaction was one of irritation. So bad was our recruitment policy that we now had to resort to playing without a striker. This was a new low. But by the end of the first half I was cursing myself for having ever doubted Allardyce. Tottenham couldn’t cope with West Ham’s packed midfield. We were expecting Jussi to have a busy game. Halfway through the match, he had barely made a save. And it wasn’t as though we weren’t creating chances ourselves. A cleverly-taken Mark Noble free kick saw Kevin Nolan narrowly miss the target, while a couple of dangerous corners should have resulted in Hugo Lloris being tested.

At half time the talk was of whether the 4-6-0 masterstroke could see us fulfil the dream of taking a point. My worry was that we would create even fewer chances in the second half and Tottenham would inevitably nick one. A few minutes into the second half my fears multiplied. Jermain Defoe was set free. Only Jussi to beat. We all know how this ends, right? Wrong. Jussi pulled off one of his brilliant saves. This pivotal moment should not be forgotten, as so much of Jussi’s brilliance tends to be.

At 17:18 my dad sent me a text message: “Will we hold on for a point?”. “Probably not,” I replied. Before the final whistle I would send him three more messages, each one better than the last: “0-1”, “0-2”, “0-3”.

I have a soft spot for Kevin Nolan but when he’s not screaming at the ref or, more helpfully, scoring, he isn’t doing a lot else. On 66 minutes, he reached new levels of uselessness when he managed to block a Winston Reid shot bound for the back of the net. Suddenly that bit of luck that has evaded us on the road appeared: the ball rebounded straight back to Reid, who smashed the ball home. Delirium.

When you celebrate a goal at Upton Park, you stand and applaud politely (unless it’s a last-minute winner against Arsenal or Chelsea). If you’re feeling particularly exuberant you might pat your mate on the back. When you celebrate a goal at an away ground you jump up and down and punch the air a few times.

When you celebrate a goal at White Hart Lane it’s a bit different. Yes, you jump and down and punch the air. But it’s a bit more than that. You start hugging the stranger next to you – that’s right, the bloke with whom you’ve shared about ten words during the match. The bloke behind you jumps on top of you. You don’t mind, just as the bloke in front of you doesn’t mind when you fall on top of him. 3,000 cockneys going fucking mental. It’s beautiful. And to get to do it three times one after the other. This must be how people who are good in bed must feel, I thought to myself.

The joy of the last 25 minutes of the match was tempered by a disbelief at what we were seeing. Vaz Te’s goal was brilliant in its farce. Ravel Morrison’s goal was brilliant in its brilliance. Next time you watch Ravel’s goal on TV, look out for the West Ham fans on the far right of the screen jumping up and down in boyish anticipation as the ball glides over Lloris and rolls agonisingly towards the goal-line.

Apparently Spurs fans do sometimes stay to the end, but not on this day

There is something slightly anti-climatic about walking out of a stadium and reintegrating back into the quotidian after you have witnessed something like that. I made a conscious effort to savour it all. West Ham fans were not shy in basking in victory. One grumpy Spurs fan, rattled by the singing of a group of teenagers, grumbled that they were “boring”. Good one.

Queuing up outside White Hart Lane station it felt as though there were more Hammers than Spurs (which there possibly were given that half the home end filed out of the ground on 79 minutes). A group of olds guys behind me who thought they had seen everything were struggling to take it in.

“It’s the buzz, innit,” one said. “I’m buzzing. It’s all about the buzz. Match of the Day 2 tonight? I’m buzzing for that.”

The schadenfreude was almost as much fun. I can still picture the sullen look on a hundred faces, that realisation setting in that, despite the pre-season optimism, this year will be just like all the rest: a big fat disappointment.

'We love you West Ham'

What really mattered though was our fans. In no other situation in life would I choose to spend my time with these people. They’re not my family and they’re not my friends. But that common bond of supporting West Ham means our moods are so often in sync. We’ve had some bad days. Some really, really awful, depressing, soul-destroying days. This was one of the good days. This is when you get a return on the time and money invested in this brilliant football club. You don’t have to be a pessimist to support West Ham, but it does make the good days all the more rewarding.

Other strikers are available

The striker situation has left everyone frustrated, but the biggest error has been time wasted targeting unlikely signings

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So let’s recap. The transfer budget is blown on record £15m signing Andy Carroll, a player who is injured, who was injured for much of the previous season and who will be injured at the start of the next. Back-up striker Carlton Cole is released and no new striker is signed. Three games into the season, just two goals have been scored, neither of them by our only fit striker Modibo Maïga who, in a David Kelly-esqe performance against Stoke, misses a sitter which would probably have turned zero points into three. Andy Carroll returns to training and within half an hour is injured again. Worryingly, the injury seems so obscure, the club cannot say how long he will be out for.

Doesn’t sound good, does it? That because it’s not. But it’s probably not as bad as it seems. The situation adds fuel to the fire of those fans who believe that Sam Allardyce is on a mission to sabotage the club but – call me a brainwashed Big Sam apologist if you want – he probably isn’t. If we put paranoia to one side, the question that really needs answering is – what, if anything, should have been done differently? Hindsight makes us all experts, but what were the decisions that at the time we really questioned?

"Had he kept himself fit over the summer, Carlton Cole would have presented an option – but not one that would have delivered many goals"

Some fans, but not many, were unhappy with the permanent signing of Carroll. £15m was too much of a gamble on a player plagued by injuries, they claimed. Only certain individuals within the club know the minutiae of Carroll’s injuries and the likelihood of a recurrence. It seems doubtful that anyone would have played down the severity of Carroll’s condition. Who would have benefited from that? If something to the contrary emerges, then that would indeed be a scandal. But until that transpires, let’s assume no skulduggery occurred.

Then there is the question of Carlton Cole and whether he should have been allowed to leave. Let’s be honest, those upset by Cole’s departure were so, not because we were losing a player who had consistently delivered for us (certainly not over the last three years), but out of sentimentality. Obviously having him on the books at this moment in time feels desirable, because we are so bereft of attacking options. Had he kept himself fit over the summer, Cole would have presented an option – but not one that would have delivered many goals.

If we are to question the lacklustre nature of our hunt for another striker, we must clarify our view of £4.5m-signing Maïga. Having chipped in with a few goals last season from minimal appearances, fans had reason to believe that he had something to contribute. On the other hand, Allardyce’s reluctance to give him a chance made us sceptical. That scepticism turned to outright disdain during the Stoke match. Allardyce knows him better than the rest of us, and his comments this week suggest he still believes he can do a job for us. Given that new signing Mladen Petric will not be match fit for another three weeks, we are likely to find out.

"At West Ham, Allardyce has never given the impression of having faith – Carroll notwithstanding – in any of his attacking signings"

If we are to take the cynical view that Allardyce’s backing of Maïga comes not from conviction but from necessity, the big question remains: how did we manage to go through the whole summer without acquiring an understudy for Carroll? One theory is that targets such as Demba Ba, Salomon Kalou and Romelu Lakaku were not interested because they expected play second fiddle to Carroll. A pretty sound explanation, I’m sure you’ll agree. But to then argue on that basis that we shouldn’t have signed Carroll seems nonsensical. Either you want a quality striker or you don’t. Surely the question is, why did we not target a striker who would be interested in joining, who would be patient enough to wait for their opportunity? When did we suddenly get so big-headed that only Chelsea players are deemed good enough for us?

I continue to be a big fan of Allardyce but his biggest flaw remains his inability to spot a good striker. At Bolton he got it right with Kevin Davies, but given how prolific he became in that role, Allardyce rarely needed to go back into the transfer market. Nicolas Anelka was clearly a good signing but not one that required a great deal of imagination. At West Ham, Allardyce has never given the impression of having faith – Carroll notwithstanding – in any of his attacking signings: John Carew, Sam Baldock, Nicky Maynard, Brian Montenegro, Maïga.

The transfer window is shut and until Carroll returns to fitness, we must live within our means. Call me an optimist, but in this seemingly dire situation is there not an opportunity to be had? Surely one of Maïga, Petric, Ravel Morrison or Elliot Lee has the ability to make a notable contribution. Those are Allardyce's options, ones that exist from his own making. It's up to him to make something out of them.

Same old West Ham, taking the piss

Cardiff try to score a goal. Bless 'em.

If, like me, you abhor the tedium of preseason and the transfer rumours – baseless or otherwise – that go with it, then last Saturday would have felt like Christmas Day. Not only did the talking stop and the football begin, but a West Ham starting line up containing no new signings swept aside spend-thrifty Cardiff, demonstrating how limited the analysis of summer transfer activity is.

As Renton from Trainspotting might say, I don't hate the "in the know" tweeters; they're just wankers. Those who invent rumours are to be pitied and those who leak genuine information are surely doing our club a disservice. Jack Sullivan is too young to be called a wanker (let’s wait till his sixteenth birthday before we do that) but his tweets are nauseating and reflect poorly on our club. However, you do at least know that his information is well founded and, hopefully, well intentioned. So why bother with the other dickheads?

Anyway, back to the stuff that matters …

Hosting a club making their Premier League debut was a nice way to start the season. Totally outclassing them was a brilliant way to start the season. Cardiff have clearly bought well and in the likes of Kim Bo-Kyung, Craig Bellamy and Peter Whittingham have existing players who can hold their own in this division. But it just didn't seem to come together for them. I will follow their progress with interest. They have the basis of a team that can steer clear of relegation, yet I fear they may labour in learning harsh lessons. I use the word fear in its loosest possible sense, of course. My endearing memory of Malky MacKay from our time in the Championship is of his lame mind games ("the pressure's all on West Ham, blah blah blah …”).

One Cardiff player who I do wish well – aside from Kim who looks very talented – is Bellamy. I loved watching him in claret and blue. I can't think of many ex-Hammers in recent memory who can take a game by the scruff of its neck and create a goal from nothing to the extent he could. That mix of natural skill and high workrate felt like a rare thing in E13 during the late noughties. At a time when we desperately needed the money, he was offloaded to Man City for a reasonable sum. The boy had done good. That's what I had in mind when I took to my feet to applaud him as he was substituted. I was relieved to be in good company, just about drowning out the boos of the dickheads (there's that word again) who think it's their duty to abuse any player who has the temerity to move on from West Ham.

With the exception perhaps of Mohamed Diame, seldom these days do you hear of West Ham players being linked with a move to pastures greener. Despite last season's success, the players are viewed not as particularly gifted individuals, more as cogs that fit effectively into Sam Allardyce's system. On Saturday's evidence, it's a system that shows no sign of malfunctioning. The build-up to both goals was a joy to watch. The midfield's control of the game would surely have struck a chord with one spectator by the name of Billy Bonds.

One game does not a summer make, but it does prove how little we learn in the those summer months. Ravel Morrison may yet break into the team but, as I tried to emphasise in last week's blog, his performances in friendlies alone are not enough to dislodge others with proven track records.

Still, not everyone was happy. As I made my way back to Upton Park tube station at around 5pm, I overheard one underwhelmed fan moan to his friend, "What we need is some new blood". His poor missus. She must have checked the score and been sure her fella was coming home in a good mood. Or perhaps she knows better. It may be a new season, but some things don’t change.

Everything you wanted to know about West Ham's 2013/14 season and weren't afraid to ask

Having written one solitary blog all summer long, the idea of writing chunks of prose fills me with a sense of dread I haven’t felt since the last 20 minutes of the Tottenham match last February.

So I decided simply to ask myself a few questions. Or at least that was the plan – a rather sad and lonely plan – until some of my Twitter followers very kindly volunteered some of their own ...

Who's likely to be our close competition around us in the league table?

Michael Graham ‏@MGizzel

That question can only be answered by first predicting where we expect to find ourselves in the table (unless we suspect that a copycat team may try to replicate all our results – which would be very weird). Rather unimaginatively, I see us finishing in the middle pack, untroubled by either relegation or Europa League qualification. Our bedfellows? I don't honestly see West Brom and Swansea pushing themselves beyond last season's achievements. I have a feeling Cardiff may also finish comfortably.

Not so much a question, but your opinion on our business so far this summer?

Jack Dacre Brown ‏@JackDacreBrown

Given the massive increase in TV rights I expected us to spend more, but I wonder whether the plan has been to invest in big salaries (Carroll £80k/week? Downing £70k/week?) rather than make lots of expensive signings. We still carry massive debt and it's been a while since we made much money from a player sale, so I would have felt uneasy had we spent too much more. I think the signings have all been positive, although the lack of another striker may come back to haunt us.

Will Andy Carroll score around 20 goals or are we dreaming?

Paul ‏@PreMatchMeal

If he stays fit he'll be there or thereabouts. The problem is, if he spends as much time injured as he did last season, there's no-one else around to score those goals. Nolan's ten goals last year kept us away from a relegation fight. There is a risk that he won't reproduce that this time.

Do you think our away form will improve? Do we need the first few games to go our way to stay clear of trouble?

Shane Mansfield ‏@shane_mansfield

A good start last season proved a big help during the barren winter months but I honestly wouldn't panic if come October we're near the bottom. I have too much faith in Big Sam to worry. As for the away form I think it will pick up. Every team has the odd season where they are particularly good/bad at home/away (just look at our phenomenal away form the previous season). It's not a pattern that tends to last for multiple seasons. Anyway, it better had improve. I'm going to Hull in September to watch us get three points, not to take in the scenery.

Bearing in mind Sam is good enough for Real Madrid, does he see a good season as a platform to the job 'he deserves'?

Andrew Boulton ‏@Boultini

Big Sam's too good for Real Madrid.

Perhaps an insight of where we would be now if Fernandes did buy the club? Instead of QPR ....

Hayden Leigh ‏@Hayden___Leigh

One of the first things Fernandes did at QPR was to sack Neil Warnock. So far so good. Hindsight is 20-20 vision but at the time I honestly didn't think Mark Hughes was a bad appointment, nor Harry Redknapp. Gold and Sullivan made a huge error in employing Avram Grant but since then they haven't put a foot wrong. There's still time for Fernandes to redeem himself. Just not at West Ham.

I'm interested in what our best 11 is. Midfield competition looking good. No room for the likes of Taylor/O'Neill/RVT anymore.

⚒ Joe Emery ⚒ ‏@00emmers

Taylor started really well for us in the Championship but never got over his injuries. O'Neil was a top player and will be missed. RVT has never been a Premier League player.

My best XI: Jussi, Demel, Collins, Reid, Rat, Diame, Noble, Jarvis, Downing, Nolan, Carroll.

I know a lot of people would include Morrison but I'm not one to judge a player on friendlies. That said, I hope he gets the chance to prove himself. I'm yet to see Rat play but I'm assuming he's decent. Romanians usually do well at West Ham. Oh, hang on ...

Is European qualification possible or optimistic....

Dan James l91l ‏@I_Am_DanJames

When I saw us win at St James's Park last November I honestly thought we were on course for the Europa League. I came crashing down to earth with a bump and haven't really recovered. I think we're superior to half of the division but there's still a significant gap between mid-table security and European football. I think we've made good signings but I'm not convinced it's enough to propel us four places up the table.

Is the current squad good enough to better last seasons points tally/position, given the signings from teams around us as well?

West Ham News ‏@WHUFC_News

At the very least, I think there are no excuses for finishing any lower (is there ever?). But in order to make any serious progress we would need a lot of things to fall into place (an injury-free Carroll hitting 20 goals, Nolan getting into double figures again, the defence staying injury free, Morrison becoming a revelation ...). In terms of the teams around us, Cardiff, Norwich and others have spent big so it makes things interesting. I think what we'll discover as the season progresses is that some teams have invested well and will push on, while others will "do a QPR".

Which of the Liverpool 3 will be most successful?

The Mighty Mojo ‏@Bear_Necessity

I don't know who the Liverpool Three are but whatever miscarriage of justice it is they are fighting I wish them all the ... oh I see what you mean. I don't see Joey being any more than a bit-part player. Downing I expect to do a good job, albeit he won't set the world on fire. I think there's every reason to believe that Carroll will be amazing. I was speaking to a Red the other day who was boasting that Liverpool had got a good deal out of us. I look forward to reminding him of that conversation come the end of the season.

Is there really a problem for us finishing mid table for this season alone? As in cant fans just settle for a safe season

James Kiernan ‏@JamesMichaelK

Couldn't agree with your sentiment more. Two years ago, Allardyce was picking through the wreckage left by Avram Grant. A season of consolidation would be an achievement. Many fans will get frustrated with that, but that's football fans for you.

How does a club at our level cope with genuine competition for places? We have at least 2 full midfields

Pete Doonican ‏@PeteDoonican

That's a good thing, no? I don't think we're overloaded. Collison remains an ongoing doubt (though it pains me to say so), I'm not convinced Diarra and Allardyce have kissed and made up, RVT's days are numbered, and I think we may be getting ahead of ourselves as regards Ravel. We're never going to play with two centre forwards (something that is true of most Premier League teams) so it's natural that we should have lots of midfielders.

Will Maiga ever be a regular first team player? Where will Joey play? Will Tomkins ever be first choice CB?

Simon George Mann ‏@SGFMann

Maiga: I'd like to think so but then again I felt the same about Maynard, Baldock and Montenegro (well maybe not Montenegro). Joey: he'll cover for Downing or Jarvis when injured and perhaps in the cup; though there's an argument that he could do Nolan's role. Tomkins: Yeah I think there's a chance but at the moment Reid and Collins are better than him, so he makes a very good back up.

Apart from Morrison which youngster do you think will make breakthrough to first team squad?

superfurryanimal ‏@neil_shepherd1

As I've already said, Morrison hasn't yet broken through, let alone anyone else. Wrongly or rightly, I don't think Allardyce is interested in blooding the younger players. I'm sure he'd give a chance to someone exceptional but whether we have such a player on our hands I couldn't say. What I do know is that the Academy hasn't done much for us over the last ten years and I'm not convinced that's about to change. If I'm being positive I'd like to think Elliott Lee will get a chance this season.

What will you class as a successful season?

Robert Smith ‏@DonDiSmithio

Jack Sullivan closing his Twitter account, making it to the fourth round of the FA Cup, beating Spurs, the fans singing Allardyce's name ... and keeping out of the relegation fight.

You can watch my predictions unravel throughout the 2013/14 season by following @OnWestHam