Can you imagine a world without lawyers?

This week Barry Hearn confirmed what this blog suggested last week, by effectively admitting that he is pillaring West Ham solely to gain leverage in his attempt to get a shiny new stadium. Waltham Forest council are said to be interested in helping relocate the club to Eton Manor.

Hearn says that assistance from West Ham and the Premier League in facilitating a move to Essex would placate him. Funny that. Given Hearn’s disdain for Tesco-style intrusions, Alf Ramsey’s former club Eton Manor FC have presumably been consulted.

Hearn has decided that the £1m generated by Orient’s cup run will be spent on legal action, though he is undecided as to exactly what action, stating: “At the moment I'm keeping all my options open – and threatening to sue everybody.” Well if you think they’re all out to get you then, yes, you probably should sue everybody.

How thrilled Os fans must be at the thought of money that could be spent on new signings being used instead to line the pockets of the London law firm, Mishcon de Reya. As Springfield lawyer Lionel Hutz once said, can you imagine a world without lawyers?

Here are ten alternative recommendations for how Barry could spend his money more wisely:

1. Invest in your team. Having overseen one of the leanest eras in Orient’s history, including the longest spell in the bottom tier, this might be a useful way to halt the dwindling crowds.

2. Give it to Eton Manor FC as compensation for moving into their back yard.

3. Give it to Leyton FC as compensation for having relocated from Clapton to move into their back yard.

4. Give it to the residents of Newham who – so you inform me in today’s Guardian – have lost their meals on wheels.

5. Buy 1,826 shares in Serco. As a support services group they are likely to be one of the beneficiaries of the decentralisation of public services, and sound like a good investment.

6. Give it to Dagenham and Redbridge, your hometown club. We all know how important geography is to you.

7. Buy 125,786 official tea towels celebrating the marriage of William and Kate.

8. Do a KLF, and set it on fire.

9. Buy an iPad. Then buy Pablo Barrera at his current market rate. With the money that’s left over buy another 2,000 iPads.

10. Put it all on black.