Inbetween Games

As Ray Winstone is fond of telling me, a lot can happen in 90 minutes. The truth is a whole lot more happens outside of the 90 minutes – you just can’t bet on it. I suspect that of the time I dedicate to football (reading about it, thinking about it, talking about it, watching other people talk about it) the actual activity of watching West Ham only makes up a tiny fraction of the whole.

Although the international break is always a bit of a ball ache, the two weeks between Tottenham and Man United have been far from uneventful, with many things happening that may impact our fate. For those of you out of the loop, these were some of the highlights:

Scott Parker shines for England

Following the recent death of his father Scott Parker was as strong as ever against Tottenham and impressed for his country in the Wales game. There is a growing feeling that Scott may just yet become Premier League player of the year. As a fan, the pride of seeing Scott shine on the international stage was tempered by the fear that he may wake up any day soon and wonder what the hell he is doing at Upton Park.

The Brady Hunch

Just when you think Karren Brady cannot get any more nauseating, she goes and takes nausea to a whole new level. In her Sun column, the scribe wrote: “I make a quick calculation that today's FA Cup defeat at Stoke is costing us about £1.2m. Neither did we get much of an immediate return on the players' warm-weather break in Portugal so there will be another hard think before I agree to it again."

It’s not a particularly healthy attitude to measure everything in terms of the opportunity cost. What next? “I make a quick calculation that this season’s poor home form has cost us £50m Champions League revenue”.

Her understanding of return on investment seems worryingly hazy. It is concerning that she sanctioned the “warm-weather break” on the basis that it would guarantee victory in the following game and begs the question why then she hadn’t previously sanctioned similar breaks before other big games. Yet another example of our management team failing to grasp the limitations of their role.

It was especially unfortunate that she couldn’t for a moment reflect on the gross injustices inflicted upon the players in this particular game, and think better of her tirade.

Moaning Mackems

The Mackems are having a whinge after West Ham decided that the final game of the season - a game that is likely to decide whether we stay up - will be classed Category A, meaning that tickets for away fans will be £46.

“The appalling rip-off merchants who have charge of West Ham have decided that Sunderland supporters should be mugged for £46 apiece for the dubious honour of a seat at Upton Park/Boleyn/pre-Olympic Plaza,” whined the fans website ‘salut! Sunderland’.

The rant quotes “the economic crisis” – the severity of which first emerged in late 2007 when a certain bank from the north east asked the rest of the country to bail it out – as a reason why West Ham should minimise ticket prices.

“The reality is that given the huge loyalty Sunderland commands among its fans, especially those who follow the club away, our allocation will almost certainly sell out,” continues the Mackem, by this point frothing at the mouth. “Which is a perfectly good reason for hoping that West Ham go down, a relegation this Sunderland supporter would not otherwise have wished on Hammers fans.”

West Ham fans stopped worrying about what people thought of them a long time ago, so here’s an idea: read up on the theory of supply and demand, decide whether or not you are willing to pay £46, and then shut up.

Doyle out for rest of season

Wolves’ top scorer Kevin Doyle is likely to miss the rest of the season after tearing a knee ligament. Doyle, scorer of eight goals for Wolves this season with five in the league, was injured playing for the Republic of Ireland.

While no one should take any pleasure in Wolves’ misfortune, there is no point in ignoring the fact that this could have a key impact on the relegation battle. Having had a torrid first half of the season, our own injury problems have largely resolved themselves.

Mad Dog becomes Barnet manager

Barnet have re-appointed Martin Allen as manager of the League Two strugglers until the end of the season. Mad Dog, whom I loved as a player, but who worries me slightly as a human being, last surfaced as a manager at Cheltenham – a tenure which ended in an abrupt and controversial manner.

Jack Back

Rumour has it that Jack Collison is finally set to make his long-awaited comeback from a long-term knee injury, when West Ham reserves play Manchester United on Friday.

Collison, named after a popular West Ham blog, is set to play his first game when the reserves play at Bishops Stortford on Friday afternoon.