It's just over 24 years since I first attended a West Ham match - a game that proved to be John Lyall's last home game. Here are some thoughts from the last not quite a quarter of a century.
1. I was happiest
during Billy Bonds’s reign. 1991/92 was a disaster but otherwise we were a joy
to watch.
2. Our attitude to
ex-players is ridiculously polarised. Jermaine Defoe is treated like Satan
while Carlos Tevez is treated like God. Neither is true.
3. There is no
greater feeling in life than watching West Ham win away, and I live in hope
that the experience of watching the 3-0 win at Wigan in 2007 will one day be bettered.
4. Julian Dicks is
one of my all-time favourite players. But he won’t make a manager.
5. I’m still not
sure whether it’s “they fly so high / they reach the sky” or “they fly so high
/ nearly reach the sky”.
6. The anger people
feel for bankers rewarded for failure is nothing compared to how I feel about
Glen Roeder and Avram Grant.
7. Tony Gale should
be a stand-up comedian. Seriously.
8. The club needs
to re-release every end-of-season highlights video on DVD.
9. It remains a
constant source of mystery to me how David Kelly was so abysmal in a claret and
blue shirt but at Leicester and Newcastle couldn’t stop scoring.
10. Hatred of
another football club may be juvenile and irrational but there is no other word
for my feelings towards Tottenham Hotspur.
11. The moronic,
baseless abuse that Arsene Wenger gets at Upton Park makes me embarrassed to be a West Ham fan.
12. Trevor Brooking
should have been our permanent manager.
13. When we bother
to come up with new songs, there are no wittier fans in the country than ours.
14. It’s been a long
time since we came up with a good, original song. Copying Aston Villa’s John
Carew ditty was a low point.
15. The new Adidas
deal notwithstanding, the quality of club merchandise has massively
deteriorated. Rugby shirts were cool. T-shirts with lame slogans are for chavs.
16. It’s impossible
to ever truly trust the person that runs the club.
17. E13 is one of
the most unsightly areas I have ever been to. I won’t miss it.
18. I was about 13
the first time I saw The Hammerettes. I owe them a lot.
19. I cannot sing
Bubbles to the tune of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Just can’t.
20. I have seen some
bad players over the past 24 years. Tel Ben Haim was the worst.
21. The notoriety of
Marco Boogers is a bit over the top for a club that has wasted millions and
millions of pounds on dozens of incompetent foreign imports.
22. It’s a shame we
can’t speak openly about the real reason Alan Pardew left West Ham. His
departure has shaped so much that has happened since.
23. My favourite
end-of-season highlights video moment is a fan screaming with total anger and
conviction: “KELLY, YOU’RE SHIT!”
24. I love Billy
Bonds more than most of my friends.
This article was inspired by Sophie Heawood's 37 thoughts on turning 37.
